Even though you want to be happy for your partner’s other relationships…

Does jealousy sometimes make you feel overwhelmed & out of control?

Do you at times feel insecure or not enough when thinking about your partners’ other dates?

Do you struggle with expressing your jealousy to your partner(s)?


I understand. I've been there too.

Hi, I'm your instructor, Sarah, and I get it!

I used to struggle with jealousy. I still do sometimes.

But after almost a decade of practicing non-monogamy, I've learned to handle it in a healthy way. I know what to do the moment it comes up. I know much better if, when, and how to take action on it in the aftermath. I know how to handle it as an individual and also in the context of my relationships, including with my partner of over four years (who is now also my baby daddy). ♥️ I'm a certified mindfulness coach, and I'm also a practitioner of Vipassana meditation and nonviolent communication, which I use to inform what I live and teach.

JAC will give you the skills & tools to handle jealousy with confidence.

The goal of this program is not to get rid of your jealousy, but to teach you exactly what to do when it strikes - creating more joyful, sustainable, and compersive relationships.

Here's what you get:

  • Lifetime access to the course

    Get lifetime access to all 6 crucial chapters *in video and audio podcast format* on handling your jealousy and cultivating compersion.

  • Weekly group calls

    To reflect on what you've learned, hold each other accountable, and go even further with hot-seat coaching. Max 10-12 participants per group.

  • Slack group chat

    To submit work, ask questions & update the team on your progress.

  • Take-action assignments

    To build your compersion muscle in your real life.

  • Access the JAC alumni network

    Stay in touch with like-minded people from all over the world. Exclusively for program alumni.

  • Coaching add-on

    Add 2 one-on-one coaching sessions with Sarah to workshop your individual challenges as pieces start to move in your life.

Choose the option that's right for you

Either choose the completely do-it-on-your-own course OR the group course with 5 group coaching calls PLUS access to the full recorded course OR choose the live group course PLUS 2 one-on-one coaching sessions to workshop your own personal challenges with me (Sarah)

"I'm more mindful and open to those negative feelings have an easier time feeling them."

"Prior to joining the course, I couldn't communicate clearly and was completely overwhelmed by my feelings to the point where I would just shut myself down in order to deal with them. This course helped me gain perspective on how to be curious about what my body and mind are trying to communicate with me through my feelings. Since then, I am more mindful and open to those "negative" feelings and have an easier time feeling them.

This course makes you ask yourself some hard questions that are soo worth the time and the work!

 - Magdalena

"I feel less alone in this adventure."

Living in rural America has often left me feeling alone on my Polyamory journey and unsure of where to turn for support, advice, community, and reassurance. This course helped to fill in some of those major gaps that I don't have access to in a way that meant so much to me. I now feel not only more equipped to explore and transform my jealously, but also less alone in this adventure with no map.

Your expertise and studies shine through to provide folks with a holistic view of jealously that is not as heady as many non-monogamy educators I come across You provide real examples that are incredibly relatable and do not present as someone who just "naturally doesn't feel jealousy.” Rather you are like many of us, who experience it fully, but are dedicated to being in better relation to it. It is your "realness" and relatedness that has always made me drawn to you as an educator. Thank you again!

 - Mattea

"I'm experiencing compersion for the first time."

"Sarah!! I think I’m experiencing compersion for the first time!! I kind of can’t believe it lol thank you so much. I’m still only about halfway through the course but it has been so unbelievably helpful already. I could actually cry right now. And I know it doesn’t mean I won’t ever feel jealous again but holy wow! I never imagined I would ever get here. Thank you so much for the work you’re doing. I am so grateful" 

-Tajah

Go from insecurity to confidence.

Whether you are non-monogamous or not, get clear on what to do about your jealousy. Feel at peace in your relationship(s) and life again.

Get there together.

You're not alone in this. Not even close. Join the weekly group calls + slack group to get where you want to be together.

Get started now

What you'll learn

In 5 weeks, you will

  • Understand your jealousy. Why do you get jealous? How can we use that information to rise above it?

  • What's the difference between jealousy and envy?

  • When jealousy hits us, how we can handle it the moment it strikes using mindfulness tools?

  • How can we change our core beliefs to diminish what's fueling these emotions?

  • How can we employ the help of partner(s) to lessen jealousy by setting boundaries and communicating?

  • How can we cultivate compersion (joy for our partner's joy) over time?

Course curriculum

    1. Why you're here

    2. Before we begin...

    3. How to use this course

    4. Be here

    5. Start your meditation practice

    6. Story time! The first time my jealousy got real

    7. Story time! The first time my jealousy got real part two

    8. Who am I? A little intro from your host

    9. Course agenda

    10. Course agenda - written out

    11. Recommended Pacing

    1. The benefit to understanding your jealousy

    2. Story time! My jealousy at a party

    3. What your jealousy isn't: Jealousy misconception #1

    4. What your jealousy isn't: Jealousy misconception #2

    5. What your jealousy isn't: Jealousy misconception #3

    6. What your jealousy isn't: Jealousy misconception #4

    7. What your jealousy isn't: Jealousy misconception #5

    8. What is jealousy?

    9. Envy vs. jealousy

    10. Story time! Envy v. jealousy story (lake date)

    11. Why do we feel jealous, anyway?

    12. Biological reasons for jealousy

    13. Attachment theory: The strange situation experiment

    14. A secure base

    15. The dependency paradox

    16. Story time! He wouldn't hold her hand

    17. An experiment: The power of a loving hand

    18. Why people we love make us BONKERS

    19. Further resources on attachment theory

    20. Story time! Intro to cultural reasons for jealousy

    21. Paternal certainty

    22. Love stories

    23. Further resources on cultural influences on jealousy

    24. The main cause of your jealousy

    25. Back to the party story, incorporating what we've learned

    26. Assignment! Your secure base

    27. What did you learn?

    1. Intro to handling jealousy on your own

    2. Story time! On a "double date"

    3. Meditate on jealousy

    4. Why we did the meditation

    5. What is mindfulness?

    6. Respond don't react

    7. What emotions are and why that matters

    8. Awareness

    9. Equanimity and meta emotions: This is important!

    10. Decide what to do with your emotions

    11. What one of the most wise people I've encountered says about dealing with uncomfortable emotions

    12. Why you shouldn't bury your feelings

    13. Assignment! What might you be getting out of your jealousy?

    14. What I get out of my jealousy

    15. What did you learn?

    1. Intro to managing jealousy on your own

    2. Investigate your jealousy

    3. Story time! Wendy investigates her jealousy

    4. Story time! Jacqueline investigates her jealousy

    5. How investigating your jealousy can help you thrive

    6. Long-term solo strategies to help ease the power of jealousy part one

    7. My easy yoga routine

    8. Long-term solo strategies to help ease the power of jealousy part two

    9. Long-term solo strategies to help ease the power of jealousy part three

    10. Jealous? Why not just "Don't ask. Don't tell?"

    11. Intro to changing your core beliefs

    12. Core belief to change #1

    13. New belief #1

    14. Core belief to change #2

    15. Story time! Jason struggles with core belief #2

    16. New belief #2

    17. Old and new core beliefs #3

    18. Core belief to change #4

    19. New core belief #4

    20. Conclusion: rewrite the script

    21. Further resources on changing your core beliefs

    22. Assignment! Core beliefs practice

    23. What did you learn?

    24. Core beliefs cheatsheet

    1. Intro to handling jealousy with your partner(s)

    2. Intro to NVC

    3. It's not about being right

    4. The default way to handle conflict

    5. Story time! Jealousy at a concert

    6. Observations

    7. Observation ✅ or evaluation ❌?

    8. Feelings

    9. Quiz! But is that really a feeling?

    10. Needs

    11. Feelings and needs inventory PDF

    12. Quiz! Identifying needs.

    13. Requests

    14. Quiz! Make a request.

    15. Direct communication

    16. A few more tips on communication

    17. What if they say no?

    18. Further resources

    19. Assignment! Your turn to NVC.

    20. What did you learn?

    21. Office hours

    22. Communicate Your Jealousy Worksheet

    1. Intro to boundaries

    2. Motivations for setting boundaries in CNM relationships

    3. What are boundaries, anyway?

    4. Boundary examples

    5. Rachael on jealousy-related boundaries

    6. Thoughts on Rachael's comments on jealousy

    7. Boundaries vs. rules

    8. Jonah Hill example

    9. Relationship between feelings, needs, boundaries and agreements

    10. Story time! Shai on his relationship agreements

    11. Exercise! How to figure out your boundaries

    12. How to figure out your boundaries: punchline

    13. How do you feel and what are your priorities

    14. Real v. ideal self: important!

    15. Story time! My van trip

    16. Van trip: What I could have done differently

    17. Van trip and core beliefs

    18. Story time! Justin on needs vs. wants

    19. Enforcing boundaries step one

    20. Enforcing boundaries step two

    21. Revisit your boundaries

    22. A month of rigid boundaries

    23. Further resources on setting boundaries

    24. What did you learn?

About this course

  • 136 lessons
  • 5 hours of video content

Get the wisdom of thousands.

This course contains the collective wisdom from scores of coaching sessions, dozens of books, hundreds of interviews with non-monogamous people, hundreds of messages and comments from people in the same boat as you, as well as my own rich personal experience of a decade.

It's not just about you.

It's about becoming a more supportive and loving partner. It's about taking part in a better world that believes a different story about love.

FAQ

Stuff people ask

  • How long does the course take to complete?

    Including assignments, it should take 6-8 hours total of your time. I recommend doing the course over 5-6 weeks. However, you can do it on your own pace!

  • I'm monogamous. Does it make sense for me to take the course?

    This is focused on non-monogamous relationships but I believe any person who struggles in some way with jealousy can get enormous value from the course.

  • Can I have access to you for questions?

    Yes, as the course is still relatively new, I would love to get feedback from you and answer your questions as needed.

Choose the course option that's right for you

Either choose the completely do-it-on-your-own course OR the group course with 5 group coaching calls PLUS access to the full recorded course OR choose the group course PLUS 2 one-on-one coaching sessions to workshop your own personal challenges with me (Sarah)

Enrollment for the group course ends Oct 31, 2024

Max 10-12 participants. We start learning right away.

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Group call schedule

All calls take place on Zoom and will be recorded

Group Call Schedule

Thurs Nov 7th, 8:00am - 9:30am Pacific/ 11:00 am - 12:30 pm Eastern/ 5:00 - 6:30 pm Europe

Tues Nov 12th, 8:00am - 9:30am Pacific/ 11:00 am - 12:30 pm Eastern/ 5:00 - 6:30 pm Europe

Wed Nov 20, 8:00am - 9:30am Pacific/ 11:00 am - 12:30 pm Eastern/ 5:00 - 6:30 pm Europe

Tues Nov 26, 8:00am - 9:30am Pacific/ 11:00 am - 12:30 pm Eastern/ 5:00 - 6:30 pm Europe 

Tues Dec 3, 8:00am - 9:30am Pacific/ 11:00 am - 12:30 pm Eastern/  5:00 - 6:30 pm Europe